Sunday, June 5, 2011

Worst Rumors of the Transfer WIndow 6/5/11

It's silly season in the world of soccer which leads us to thousands of made up "rumors" everyday.  In order to help some of you get through the usual Summer bull*$#* lets look at the worst rumors already "reported".

Gonzalo Higuain- Rumor was Higuain was available for 15 million.  So the starting Real Madrid center forward, who was second in La Liga in goals scored just last year, is available for 15 million while fellow strikers Andy Carroll was sold for 35 million pounds, and Liverpool stole 50 million pounds from Chelsea by sending them Fernando Torres in an overnight package?  Higuain is 23 year old Argentine international who won't be going anywhere and if he was it would be for three times whats been stated.

Luka Modric- It was widely reported that Tottenham were willing to sell Modric for 20 million pounds.  First, Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy is a hard bargaining man, second Modric was bought for 16.5 million pounds three years ago, has five years left on his contract, and it one of the top mid-fielders in the world, but Levy would sell him for a measly 3.5 million pound profit ( less considering inflation).  One of the silliest yet, but I'm sure the tabloid will out do themselves.

Mark Hughes- Rumor was that he quit as Fulham manager to take the Aston Villa job.  Hughes wants everyone to know that his resignation letter was a joke and since Villa doesn't want him, not that he cares since he doesn't want the Villa job, he never quit so let's all go back to how things were a week ago.

Sepp Blatter- There were wild accusations that ole' Sepp and his crew at FIFA were corrupt. These rumors are of course false since Sepp looked into the matter and within a couple of minutes found all accusations to be just that.  Back to business as usual!

Christiano Ronaldo- Couple of days last week it was reported (again in a very loose sense) that Manchester City would buy Ronaldo from Real Madrid.  That has definitely happened a lot in Football Manager but that won't be happening in real life any time soon.

Arsenal- Lots of talk out of North London linking Arseanl to non-French background big name players.  We all know that's non-sense as Arsene Wenger buys neither non-French, or big name players. Can't wait to learn how to say some new French defenders names in the coming months.

Joe Cole- Cole signing with Tottenham seems all but assured according to the press...sigh, that's probably true.  Kill me now

Samir Nasri- Talk is that Nasri might leave Arseanl soon...c'mon now! his stupid face can't play anywhere but for the Gooners.

Wayne Rooney- Has he gotten a hair transplant? Has he not?  I'm on the "hope he has side" and I'm rooting for a Nicholas Cage type look.


  1. I hate all of the BS rumors during the transfer window. All of the rumors about your best player leaving make you nervous, and all of the rumors about obtaining a top player has to be met with the utmost skepticism. It's a lose/lose situation.

    My favorite, by far, is the Wayne Rooney hair transplant rumor. I'm hoping for more of a Steve Carell type transplant look. He'd look like George Costanza when he started wearing a wig.

  2. Yeah, the Cole deal looks pretty much done. Not a bad deal for Liverpool as they make 3 million pounds. Gotta wonder though, did the Tottenham scouts watch any Liverpool games?

  3. You really eat this fake rumor shit up don't you? You know who "reported" the Joe Cole rumor? Harry fucking Harris. Harry Harris is code word for made up "news"

  4. This one's great

    My favorite part of the Cole to Tottenham made upness was the Liverpool getting a "3 million pound" profit. Hahaha.